EXPRESS EXPRESSES IT'S WORLD DOMINATION DESIRE

In a move directly juxtaposing our pilfering of Canadian actors, American retail brand Express is all set to open it’s first-ever location in a Canada mall (naturally.) It seems the Midwest “cool girl/guy” mall-staple is primed to storm our Northern friends with at least six Canadian Express outposts by the end of the year, and up-to 50 Canadian stores in the next 5 years. The Queen best beware.

CRASH CONGRATS?

In more aggressive news, those pesky laws of supply and demand took a hit in the past two weeks with customers of two coveted e-commerce collections collectively crashing the systems of Target.com and Madewell.com. It seems that having your website crash is the new black for e-commerce sites – with the P.R. payoff over being sooo ridiculously in-demand that your e-shop puts itself into self-impossed lockdown, outweighing actual customer service. (Um… this customer service-thing? What is this that you speak of?)

With Target.com’s repeated site-crashing over it’s Missoni for Target collection and the most recent site crashing of Alexa Chung’s Madewell line, consumers everywhere ask themselves, “why won’t they take my money? Is nothing sacred?”

For those of you not in the know, Alexa Chung is the MTV “it girl” who makes good collaborating with J Crew’s more-laid-back line Madewell, which offers up cotton shirts, chunky knits and Chung’s ‘girls in the band’-inspired line.

In a move that screams “praise-in-lieu-of-a-hipster-sweater,” Chung sent out a tweet of congratulations upon Alexa Chung for Madewell’s opening morning site crash, “Congrats! You crashed the @madewell1937 website with the purchase onslaught. Glad you like it! Xxxx.” Um… take back your kisses… I was looking for a G*D* pair of shorty-shorts.

So yes, the congrats seems a touch misplaced, but the fact that Madewell was back up and running in a hot second, where Target.com is still slogging through unfilled orders (*sob. My bicycle.) definitely inspired the shopping-villagers to put down their pitchforks.

ANOTHER STOP AT CELEB COLLABORATION-STATION

We’re not sure what exactly qualifies actresses to collaborate on clothing design, but it seems that doesn’t really matter. Joining the ranks of J-Lo (Kohls) and the aforementioned Ms. Chung (Madewell) in the celebrity-fashion line game is Modern Family’s smoking-hot Sofia Vergara who recently introduced her own collaboration with Kmart. Yep. Kmart.

The line is said to be a far cry from the Kmart I remember (Seriously, I’m thinking cat sweatshirts and sensible shoes.), comprised of pleather mini-skirts, clingy tops, body-con dresses and animal prints. Naturally, there is a Vergara accessories line too: over-the-knee boots, sexy platform pumps and bold jewelry.

Vergara admits that her own closet is filled with much more couture designers like Dolce & Gabbana, Vera Wang and Victoria Beckham (yes, another higher-end celeb-gone-rogue), but claims that is what inspired her to collab with the big K, “I want women to be able to buy the Kmart clothes and look [at the clothes in] the magazines and say, ‘aaah, this looks a little bit like the dress that I own for twenty bucks, but of course it’s a $3,000 dress. So I wanted to give them a little bit of that.” Aw. She's a giver.

WHAT TIME IS IT BETSEY JOHNSON?

Betsey Johnson would like you to ask her what time it is. She won’t tell you, but she will direct you to the watch counter at Macy’s where her new line of timepieces are just waiting to be purchased and whisked away to their new forever homes.

Working with jewelry company Miriam Haskell, Johnson expounds on this latest expansion, explaining the natural progression of her own iconic designs, citing “stuff for the young”—the pink, the leopard, the lightening bolts, the kitty cats—as inspiration for the line.

“[The designs] go from kiddie to grandma. They go from classic to twinkly to chic. They're great, and beautifully made. They are a great weight, which to me is very important in a watch. They are greatly made and I’m not just saying that.” Well, alright then. She's not just sayin' that.